Depressing,sad,tearful,lonely,irritable,EVERY bad and sorrowful adjective actually,then resides into the brain,mind and heart! And so into every other place too…. be it wherever I look,go and escape!
This was now,like today,yesterday,day before,and earlier as well,things are so not going well.. at home,college,friends,with every person linked to me! Seems,I lost something,some spark,some jesture,some feeling may be?
I don’t understand actually,why?
Who should be blamed,me? others? everyone? or the weather? since it rained one day and other day was killing heat? or may be I skipped the gym,so I gained 200 grams exactly?… Trust me! I have a longer list to “BLAME”
The problem is,this blaming session,gives me satisfaction for a while.. but then back again,it goes on and on and on.. I keep feel pathetic-to-worse.
Gets real shitty sometimes,real tough. REAL PAIN!
Before I wrote this post,I sat beside my room’s window,to just realize what all have I been facing which is so hard for me,so tearful that I cried 7 times in the whole day,for very random things…
Is it my mom,and her back ache? That she is in pain,and that hurts me more to see her like that?
That was so the root to my whole dramatic week. Mom! Gawwdddd!! Why didn’t I realize this damn thing earlier!
You know it’s hard to feel pain,but then,it’s harder to feel the pain your loved one is going through,when it’s your mom specially..
(I won’t describe what happened to her,or how painful were the days before her treatment were! They make me cry!)
Though I am glad I did not do it in front of her,she would feel bad.. She says,I give her strength,just because I portray strong to her,she feels good and energetic. Well,what else could be a better news! I will support her in every way I can,anyone would.
AND here I know the key to all my worries and sadness,taking care of my mom. Not because she needs me,but because I love her too much to do anything for her.
I love you,mom. 🙂
So you see,I had my own issues,I solved them myself,because I looked into my own self for some time,than panicking and making others sad about my sadness. Like everyone?
Others,or things I mentioned above,can not always be blamed for what one faces in life,because it is LIFE,happy,sad,rough,calm,terrifying,painful,enjoyable…just EVERYTHING!
Just once,listen to yourself,let it do the talking,you peace down. This actually helps.
“Everybody wants happiness without pain,
But there’s no rainbow without the rain..”
And what if it hurts sometimes,it gives you ample handful reasons to smile and cherish good time,LIFE is beautiful.. 🙂 really is!!