An old text. A thousand memories. 

Hi. I am just texting you to tell you something. And no it is not pleading to make you come back to me or break your heart again or to hurt you. I know I have done enough. I guess it is Karma or maybe my guilt. I have been missing you so much, I cannot sleep. I keep wondering how it would be if you were here. All the things I would do to make it up to you. All the things I would say to see you smile and blush a little. All the things that would make you angry, make you fight with me and make me feel the authority. Its 1am and these thoughts don’t stop until 5-6 mostly. Its like a continuous imagination running through my head. I miss hearing your sleepy voice and how you never wanted to wake up for work. I miss us. I know I have been a terrible person and I can never have you back. Point is, I am feeling the envy and jealousy already that I will feel when I see you with someone else. Oh by the way, I listen to “if I was your man” all the time in the office and it just makes it more worse than ever.”

While I was making room for stuff in my phone, I happened to find some old texts that I wanted to delete. I kept them safe for long and now it just felt like I needed to let them go. This one above is my favortie. Of course we have both moved on with our lives and its all happy now. In fact it feels the right thing..now that I think of it. The thing is, regrets hurt. Real bad. But then even after shedding tears reading this I could not forget or forgive things I have inside my heart, locked up, yet very fresh to remember and it hurts. Surprisingly still. 

Your actions, your words- you can’t ever take them back. Of course there are situations when you lose it, and you get all cranky but just hold it for a moment and see who else is trying to stand by and face it with you. Sometimes it is the anger that pushes the person who cares the most for you- pushes them away. Far. And they can’t come back. Partly because you’ve done enough and also because misery is never desired twice. 
Before it is too late, you know what to do! 

So tomorrow, take a fresh step. Be kind, gentle, polite and loving- most important. It takes one harsh word to hurt so bad, and one caring action to mend it. 

Good night guys. Make sure you show how much you love them! 👫

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