Let it go, they said

If only.

To be honest, I am this chronic over thinker who tends to think about something in a loop and then always reaches to a negative conclusion. I guess it maybe is because of how I have seen things go absolutely wrong for no reason. I would literally have no idea what went wrong at times, but it did. And it always did with me.

So when nothing happens, I am stuck in this block waiting for the shoe to drop, the brick to fall or the pit to open. Why? Habit. Maybe.

You see how there’s always this one person in life who tells you to let it go. It all happened to you so nothing worse than that could happen to you. Jesus, I have no idea where these people find the optimism from. But they do. They tell you things you want to believe.

She (that person in my life is a she, yes) told me to let it go. She told me to think about it for the whole night, wet my pillow, and rethink it all, have as much regret as my heart could take. One night. And then the next morning, I had to let it go. Because my heart was heavy. It was heavy and I felt this burden that wouldn’t let me get out of the bed unless I let it go.

And I did. I let it all go. It never felt better than this. Really.

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