That we conveniently neglect.
How many of us are asking each other if we’ve been doing well, mentally? I have often heard of – how are you? How are you doing? How’s it going? No one ever says, “Is everything going well with you?”, “Is there anything bothering you?”, “How did your week go?”.
Why would you change the tone of your questions, you might wonder. Because if you really want to know how someone is doing – you should really ask about it.
We are a generation of very hardworking people. People who are achievers, dreamers and ambitious. It is the best thing about all of us. The urge to reach somewhere, the courage to dream, the will to make efforts – it is simply amazing.
But there’s a problem. The problem is so minor that we conveniently ignore it until we have to deal with it, in most cases, clinically deal with it.
We fail to acknowledge this.
I feel the only reason I can talk about it freely is that I have been through things that required me to seek help to overcome my fears, my doubts, my insecurities, my issues, and underconfidence. There came a point when I stopped looking at things and started to look over them. This not only resulted in my emotional disbalance but also made me less productive and extremely moody. I pushed away friends, family, colleagues, even broke up. It all happened because I failed to understand what I was going through and all of it kept piling on. Until one day… I googled a person and sat on her couch, crying.
I realised that I had been competing with myself to be better. I was so insecure about the things from my past, my childhood and all of it resulted in a bad series of decisions. I have come to terms with a lot of things, of course, many more to go. But now I am calmer, confident, and very kind. I am more sensitive towards people because I know how normal I pretended to be when I wasn’t.
All you have to do is ask the right questions. It is amazing how people will open up to you in minutes. They will talk to you. Like really talk. Imagine the kind of help you can be to someone by just hearing them out. Be patient with your friends, your siblings, your parents, your partners, your colleagues. There’s a lot about mental abuse that we are all unaware of.
It is time we take a step that leads to better days, happy days. Please know, there is no shame in asking for help – friendly or even professional. You have to be a little selfish and think about your good. No one will judge you for looking out for yourself.