We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

More often than not, we think we are victims of our own doings.

I have had some time to introspect during these days of quarantine, and I think I have analyzed what I was doing wrong for so many years. I was inflicting the pain from my past into my present and dragging it towards a future.

As humans, and I speak for this entire generation, we love the idea of self-blame. Gone are the days when we sat down with friends and bitched about the ex. Now every face you turn to, you will see the guilt that they carry, the regrets they are still trying to process, and the mistakes they think they should have never made. But would it be really our world with no errors involved? Is it really okay to demand perfection from your flawed self?

Take a breath and think of one person that you know of who has never made a mistake. A person who has never been on edge, who has never taken a rash decision, and who lives to tell that he/she has never hurt anyone? It is in our nature to construct and deconstruct. It is a cycle, and that is how it works. You break something, but you for sure will mend something. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you will.

So, it is absolutely unfair to think that you are in the wrong. I do not mean that we start with the blame game once again. But hey, cut yourself some slack. You tried. There is only so much a parent, a friend, a partner, or a therapist can tell you. Unless you stop demonizing yourself for all the bad things that you have gone through, you will never see the end of it.

I say it is about time. You start asking for more. You start asking for more at work because you know you are good at your job and that you will try and try. You start asking to be heard because you simply know all the valid points to make. You make amends, with friends, with mates, with family because you need people. You came alone in the world, it doesn’t mean you have to live the same way. And you ask, you ask for more love. You do that because you know you deserve more. You deserve happiness. And you deserve to let go of the things that bring you pain, hurt, and resentment.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Sakshi I can’t express you how much I liked this.
    You have really framed words behind the famous quote from Perks of being a wallflower.
    “We accept the love we think we deserve”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sakshi Singh says:

      Thank you 🙂
      It is my favourite quote from that movie.

      Like

      1. There is also a book though I haven’t read it yet. But I guess the novel is more desirable

        Like

      2. Sakshi Singh says:

        Yes by Stephen Chbosky. Although I just have such a sense of this film. I don’t know how I feel about the book.

        Like

      3. I think we both should order the book from Amazon after this pandemic 😂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Sakshi Singh says:

        Haha. That’s a good idea 🙂

        Like

  2. srijan says:

    what was it really that sparked this realization in you at this moment? and this was something necessary. i guess, it took you some time because you’re rather sensitive that way.
    also, I don’t think if someone who has well been true to themselves and just to all that they might feel; should really be feeling any guilt whatsoever.
    and you do deserve a lot more, even if you never really asked for it. but oh you do. hoping you’re well and safe. try to write more often, maybe 🙂

    Like

  3. Very well said, letting go of all those feelings is really important to move ahead….

    Liked by 1 person

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